Best. Idea. Ever.

Guillermo del Toro to direct 'Hobbit'

Dude, I'm so lame.

I'm a Supermodel! Work it Girl!

Surreal.

So, I'm in Whole Foods, minding my own business, trying to decide if a meal consisting of Diet Coke and and guacamole would be wise (I did, it was) and this guy comes up to me and we have a conversation that goes a little something like this:

Man: I don't want to be forward.
MTTW: Um, okay?
Man: If I gave you my website and contact information, would you ever consider working with an artist?
MTTW: What would I do with an artist?
Man: Model.

What I said to this man: No.

What I really thought but didn't say: Step off, motherfucker. I'v seen "Fame," like, a lot and if there's one thing I've learned from Irene Cara -- other than winning an Oscar does not guarantee anything more than being a segment on VH1's "Where are They Now?" -- it's that if some guy asks you to model or be in his movie, it's bound to be porn and I'm going to have to take my top off. While I would probably leave rather than blubber and cry (yet still remove my top) like Irene Cara did, I will certainly not be in your nudie art!

Man, I knew I like "Top Model" so much for some reason other than watching Tyra slowly, but surely, reveal the crazy. Obviously, this happens to me a lot, seeing as I often get by because of my looks.

Danny Federici: Pillar of sound

R.I.P Phantom Dan!

I'm glad I got to see him before his all-to-soon passing.

I know I shouldn't be upset about this, but I still kind of am.

Get those keys in order for when Bruce joins you in 60-70 years.

...And my mind has been officially made up

The Boss gives his official endorsement to Barack Obama

While presidential endorsements apparently don't matter, I'm a Democrat registered in Pennsylvania and I just went from officially undecided (but heavily leaning towards Obama) to being all about the boy wonder. I know that's a terrible thing to admit -- I should be paying attention to my principles and beliefs -- but it's totally true. Come on! Have you ever seen him live?! If he told me to vote for the Devil, I would change my registration to Republican ASAP. If only Bruce had come out with this revelation in February, NJ would have been a lock for Obama.

Word Vomit

"Bill Clinton: Older Voters too Savvy to fall for Obama"

"I think there is a big reason there's an age difference in a lot of these polls," he said. "Because once you've reached a certain age, you won't sit there and listen to somebody tell you there's really no difference between what happened in the Bush years and the Clinton years; that there's not much difference in how small-town Pennsylvania fared when I was president, and in this decade."

1. Why in god's name would you proceed to disparage one of the demographics your wife's oponent has a complete lock on? Why? Why would you do that?

2. So in doing this, all your really saying is, "Young voters are stupid because Barack Obama is telling them I was a shitty president. But I totally wasn't. I was, like, the best president ever. In summation, young voters, who my wife has trouble courting, are 'tards."

Fuckin' idiot.

My bio is my favorite part

"Meet Britain's Stephen Colbert"

The letters are kind of ridiculous. One commenter tells me my opinion is off and then goes on to restate my thesis, while a bunch of others pounce on me for reviewing an old, foreign TV show. This of course being the entire point of the "Re-Viewed" feature.

But I'm not obsessed. Like, totally not. Just sayin'.

Only a small one. You're going to have to find another "How To" for the big one.

I'm still trying to figure out why you would need to learn how to make a small crossbow out of household items.

On the surface, this would seem more useful but just in case those towel monkeys figure out they have opposable thumbs.

Stuff I Read: Oh, Wao!

Junot Diaz owns the Pulitzer Prize. Well-deserved, one of the best books I've ever read.

Stuff I read: Errol Morris is a better person than you

"Play it Again, Sam (Re-enactments, Part 1)" by Errol Morris, from the New York Times Blog.

Excellent blog post by legendary doc director Errol Morris about the use of re-enactments in documentaries, specifically "The Thin Blue Line," which has some of the most artfully shot and beautifully integrated re-enactments I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.

Caught "Mr. Death," a couple months ago and it was characteristically awesome.

Errol Morris is, most definitely, a secret badass.

...and then she said, "I'm gonna eat lightnin' and I'm gonna crap thunder!"

"Hilary Clinton: I'm like Rocky, I never quit" - from the London Times

“I know what it means to get knocked down. But I’ve never stayed down, and I never will. Let me tell you something – when it comes to finishing the fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up.”

Um, Hil-dawg, you do know that he loses at the end of the first movie, right? And not only does he lose but he loses by decision -- he was judged on skill and deemed inferior. And he does give up in the fifth one because the doctors say he'll die if he fights again so he has Tommy Gunn do it for him (of course, he owns Tommy Gunn later in the movie, but that fight is not sanctioned by the Pennsylvania Boxing Commission and would, therefore, mean nothing within the political arena).