Denied!

I was supposed to write this for a blog at work but, even though they accepted the pitch, they killed the final product BEFORE seeing it. While this would generally piss me off (because I'm god's gift to writing, remember?!), I'm actually relieved. The ladies of Broadsheet are whip-smart (albeit, with mom-jeans hiked up firmly at the waist) but they would have hated this:
Turns out Mama Rose was ahead of her time.

Matriarch of the Lohan clan and Lindsay's drinking buddy, Dina Lohan, can finally stop living vicariously through Lindsay. Dina now has her own show where she can begin to live vicariously through her other daughter.

E! picked up eight episodes of the show to premiere this summer. It's tentatively titled "Living Lohan" and follows Dina and 14-year-old daughter Ali as they move from Long Island to Las Vegas in order to jump start Ali's career. Dina told Page Six that she has "no choice" but to do a reality show so people can get to know the real Ali. The same Page Six piece quotes a Teen Vogue interview with Ali in which she said, "I grew up watching Lindsay. It made me want to do what she does." Would that be the naked photo shoots of dead sex symbols or the hat trick of rehab stays? In her downtime, Dina will prove her mom-of-the-year skills by deigning to hang out with her not-famous kids, 11-year-old Cody and 20-year-old Michael.

Wild Things star and worst Bond girl ever Denise Richards also has a show slated for E! airing this summer. She too can tell her side of tabloid fodder (like that time she started sleeping with best friend's ex-husband. That, like, totally wasn't her fault). The as-yet-untitled show will feature her kids, three-year-old Sam and two-year-old Lola. Richards' ex-husband, that bastion of virtue known as Charlie Sheen, wasn't happy about the deal and took Richards to court to keep their kids off-camera. That's right, the man who almost had his children taken away from him because of his "alleged proclivity for online erotica," took the moral high ground. Sheen lost, although a judge laid out some unreleased ground rules for when Sam and Lola are ready for their close-ups.

But wait, it's totally cool that Richards is exploiting her toddlers! Do you think Denise would go ahead with the show without getting their input first? Richards said:

"I asked them if they wanted to be on TV and Sam said, 'Yes!' My girls have been around it so much. They love the makeup. They love the hair. They love all of that."

When I was three, I wanted to be a movie star, too. I also ate Play-Doh.

Previously, familial reality shows waited until the kids were old enough to make fools of themselves without their parents help (see: "The Osbournes," "Hogan Knows Best"). But these women do have a precedent: Single, career girl complete with a kid who is forced into the frame. Lest we not forget "The Anna Nicole Smith Show."

Everything's coming up roses, indeed.